


A Dream Of Life Again

by hummingrightalong, itslifethatscaresmetodeath



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Daryl Dixon, F/F, M/M, Rickyl, The southern tribe made their to the northwest and meet up with the Otto's/Clark's, Yes Gretchen lives, Yes beth lives, beth/gretchen mentioned, fear of bodily fluids, growing Grimes family, spermophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 06:45:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17720138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingrightalong/pseuds/hummingrightalong, https://archiveofourown.org/users/itslifethatscaresmetodeath/pseuds/itslifethatscaresmetodeath
Summary: Takes place inside the FTWD/TWD crossover but stands alone.Rick wants a baby Daryl, and Beth is willing to help make that happen. If only Daryl can get over some irrational fears (of certain bodily fluids).





	1. Chapter 1

At absolutely the worst time, when they’re serene but his partner knows he’s been cooking up an idea, Rick speaks surely and evenly as always. "Now, hear me out, k?"

 

Daryl sighs and sets his book down on the bedside table. He takes off his reading glasses - yep - and turns to face his partner in crime, his partner in...life (eww btw). Rick has a hopeful, bashful look on his face and it almost catches him off guard but not quite. He's better than that, had years to prepare.

 

"What?" more of a declaration than a question. Always is.

Rick looks slightly less hopeful but determined. Well, fuck. 

 

"Judith is getting big." He trails off.

 

"Uh huh." Daryl would be lying if he said he didn't have an idea where this is going. He had actually expected, almost welcomed the discussion. After all, there was no shortage of orphans in the apocalypse -

 

"Carl is mine. Biologically. Judith is...well, nevermind. she's yours, Lori said. But still...biology. I want one of you."

 

Lori had said, too. she'd told him, 'if the worst happens...you do more for this baby than either of these men. She's yours, ya know?' and he had. He'd done more, gone above and beyond even if no one really noticed at the prison. Sure, they noticed his makeshift crib had gotten the baby to stop crying. But he’d done so much more than that.

He got a lot of shit done that went unnoticed. But Lori did. They'd struck up an odd friendship in her last months. Rick had decided to do his duty as her husband but who knew beyond that and Shane was a loose cannon aka dipshit. But she'd left that baby in Daryl's hands...Rick too. Told him the man was his, like she had a say, like she knew something he didn't. And maybe she did. He was never very good at that shit.

 

"Just how the fuck-"

 

"There are ways..." Dammit Harlan, he starts to think but Rick's got more up his sleeve. 

"And if you don't wanna it's fine, I get it. I get your limits, But still. Beth said - "

 

"You already talked to Beth?! About what exactly?" Daryl, above all, took the promise made to her father very fucking seriously. Take care of my girls. And hadn’t Rick made the same damn promise. They should be together on this!

 

"Surrogacy. She and Gretchen are a ways off I think...and she owes you one after...yeah. You know her daddy never expected that crap out of her, or what she and Jimmy were up to." He gets a targeted look. No one was a fool, except maybe dear old dad but isn’t that how fathers with daughters are supposed to be?

 

On their own after the prison, the girl had fibbed. Lied, outright about her experience, with alcohol and sex. Had convinced Daryl, vulnerable, desperate to please DARYL, that it'd make her feel better. He'd felt good about helping, nothing else. And her confession to Maggie, well, it had gone about as expected. Until the truth came out anyway. Then her sister called her, kid-you-not, a sexual predator. The catfight that followed was deemed 'epic' by Glenn himself. Even now, slightly amused as he was after everything calmed down, Daryl thinks of her as a little girl and is a little amused that she’d gone to such lengths. 

Rick knows he’s distracted, and it’s a dirty trick, but he makes a targeted attack. 

 

"I want a little boy. Just like you." Daryl’s eyes get wider than he’s ever seen them. Direct hit, head shot.

"Do you have ANY Idea what you're askin' for?"

 

"Daryl. I'm a straight - well, maybe not quite, I guess...a demisexual (?) man. Labels aside, I don’t know what these kids are calling it these days. I do know something; I know you are the love of my fucking life. I know what I want”...and then a thought occurs. “Or are you not being self-deprecating for once and literally asking a question?"

Daryl just gives him a look and Rick knows. Of course it's the former. He tries not to roll his eyes and fails. 

 

"Nothing's wrong with you. You are the most selfless, kindest, gentlest man I know. Only good can come of more in you in the world."

 

Daryl flushes pink, ducks his head and does that puppy headbutt thing he does. Maybe it's shyness, or his form of affection. He HAS been better at accepting compliments and praise lately...

"Yeah, yeah. I guess. If she wants. And you knock off that crap."

Rick feigns ignorance. “What crap?” He’s far from innocent.

 

Rick does his best to contain his excitement but can't wait to run next door and drag Michonne out of bed. His best gal pal has to be the first to know or he's gonna get his ass kicked. 

Beth can wait til morning. He'd be a liar if he said the little pervert didn't tick him off just a bit...it wasn't Daryl's fault, despite the hang dog look he'd worn during his 'confession'. If she hadn't been her. If he hadn't promised her daddy…

***

When discussions continue, certain details seem to be damned and determined to hold the process back. But Rick expected this. 

Daryl makes a face before he even begins and Rick knows this will be an uphill climb. Grease, grime, baby spit up, walker blood...none of it phases the older man. As a matter of fact, only ONE thing *bothered* Daryl, as far as 'icky' fluids/substances and considering their current goal, that thing could very well possibly present a problem.

 

"If I say yes - and mind ya, that's a BIG 'if'...how the hell am I supposed to..." yeah he knows he doesn't like this answer. It's not that he doesn't do IT once (an odd occurrence or just nature taking its course) in a while but he doesn't think about it too hard, and that's only when he can immediately wash it off afterwards. Yeah, he doesn't even like to be around his own...semen(?) - even the name is fucking creepy. I mean, it's kinda fucking alive, for starters. and the way is dries...just nope.

“They have fucking tails for Christ's sake.”

“They ain't alive for long if it makes you feel better. Once they're in oxygen-” Shoot...

 

“Rick! So you think telling me I may or may not have had dried patches of salty, dead, microscopic tadpoles on my fucking skin at one point is supposed to make me feel better?” 

“Well, you've been covered in worse...or maybe you haven't by your mind. You're right honey, I'm sorry. But yeah. You gotta jerk off in this cup. I can help or not. Your call.” 

“Then what?” 

“Now do you really want that answer? Now, do You got a point or are we just chatting?” 

Daryl glares, isn't thrilled to have his words turned back on him. He remembers a time back when he was just Daryl and Rick was just officer friendly who left his brother to die and had an ass that looked sinful in levis. “Fuck You.”

Rick laughs. Knows Daryl remembers the somber hostility, how far they've come…

"Shut up. Get out." He shoves Rick toward the door. Rick figured. He knows Daryl prefers to do this alone. Might take a while. Before he can be pushed out completely, he spins around, kisses him - gently. Kisses the 'x' tattooed on his neck...his only 'spot' - thank Christ someone had the sense to tell him to mark it. Daryl flushes, his pupils dilate and then Rick's almost nose to nose with the door. The lock clicks into place. He smiles at that, tilts his head. Shakes it, and tries not to laugh. Locked the door...for real. Only Daryl.

 

***

Twenty minutes later the sealed plastic container comes out empty. Daryl doesn’t look the least bit sheepish and Rick doesn’t look all that surprised. He’ll admit to looking the least bit irritated, but not surprised. 

“We should talk to them.”

“The kids?” Rick asks incredulously, and if he had a hat he’d have thrown it in the dirt in consternation. In fact, he takes it off Judith’s head and makes like he’s about to do just that very thing before Daryl snatches it. “They’re getting big, and they’re going to leave us soon!”

“You can’t just replace Carl!” Daryl replied angrily.

“He’s already done left us with some girl!”

“She ain’t just some girl. Enid is practically family. How can you make that sound like a bad thing...I’ll try again tomorrow. After we talk to the kids.”

“Damn it! Fine…”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl tries to fight dirty and get the kids on his side. Does not go as planned.

"Now Carl, it's important that we have an open, honest family meeting here", Rick begins, eyeing his son across the kitchen table as if the walls of Odessa's secure compound weren't there to keep the fucking walking dead at bay. Like they're back in king county again and he's 12 years old, gotten a less than stellar grade after he'd sworn he studied 'allll night' for it. 

'Steady Carl' he reminds himself. 'You are 21 years old...almost. get a grip'

Rick tilts his head at the challenge in his son's eyes - 'tread lightly boy' - it says. ' I brought you into this world...and you know the rest'.

Daryl had insisted they talk to the kids. Rick doesn't know why Michonne has to be there, hiding a smirk behind her hand. Badly. But he wants this. He'll play along, no matter how painful Daryl makes it. He'll show him what determination looks like and he will get his way. No matter how long it takes. 

Ok, his resolve buckles slightly at the knowing look Daryl shoots him. the fucking *snort* from his supposed bff.

Daryl fixes his eyes on their boy, momentarily. He's also helping Judith with schoolwork and Rick's sure it's just to prove he's *more* determined, and not only that, can multitask while he pulls off the job.

Carl visibly swallows. Rick doesn't blame him. Of course he doesn't feel bad enough to ever wanna take his place...yeah, he's a bad dad sometimes. what of it? Enid is not as sympathetic and elbows him hard, a serene smile fixed on her lovely little face. She makes the whole thing obvious, didn't try to hide it for a second...Carl's in for it.

"Now, don't you listen to him," Daryl begins, gently. "You know daddy has only got your best in mind. Don't want you feeling left out. Replaced or nothin'."

Carl sighs. He's 21...almost. He's been thinking about a ring and a pretty left hand that deserves it already...srsly dad?

He decides, stupidly - Rick barely curbs the urge to face palm, Michonne does not - to play a little dirty. He shifts the focus. To the damn baby.

"Shouldn't Judith be the one feeling replaced?"

Judith stops her work, is silent for a long moment, then busts out laughing. This continues for maybe longer than necessary but she stops every 30 seconds or so, pretends to collect herself, and she's at it again.

Then, as soon as it began, she's quiet, composed, back to her schoolwork. She lets out a sound of disgust/disbelief. "Was mama standing when she birthed you?"

Rick hangs his head, chuckles. He can't help it. Their little girl is so smart, in large part thanks to Daryl he knows. Michonne and Enid are in tears. His...husband, his *person* even cracks a smile.

"How'd that go from your end?" Daryl asks.

Carl is red as a tomato. Owned by his little sister. Okay. Wow. Maybe that ring will have to wait a bit if enids reaction is in any way telling.

He loves her. But damn she can be so mean to him...maybe that's why he loves her? Yeah, a bit God that's fucked up. He hears daddy telling him not to cuss in the back of his mind, in spite of his own filthy mouth.

"Naw, I think your a little way off but she ain't gonna wait forever," Daryl says. "time it right, boy" 

'How in the hell does he do that?' his son wonders. Daryl smirks behind his hair.

But the Carl's eye drifts to the rings on both of his father's hands, the ones that don't match in the slightest but fit each of them perfectly. The silver skull with a Ruby eye on Daryl's, the simple band Rick wore. 

Nick had been right, it was about damn time. 

And Rick was right too. More of Daryl in the world can't be a bad thing. Dirty rotten scoundrel had already gotten to the boy weeks ago. 

"Beth's good so I don't see much of a problem. Ain't being replaced. Just rounding out the family, right Judy?" He nudges his sister and despite the hell she'd just given him, she smiles, winks, looks up at Daryl with sweet brown doe eyes. 

"Daddy," she says, in her most devious, precious voice. "I want a baby brother."

Daryl looks at his children, betrayed, then glares at his husband. 

"Fine. Got me up a tree, I guess..." He mutters and the room erupts with joyous celebration. Hugs all around. Daryl doesn't fight it, won't admit he welcomes it for a second. He and michonne will keep his tiny momentary smile their little secret.

"You do know-" he tries when Rick's got him in his arms. Last ditch effort...

Futile.

"Yes, Daryl. It's all I want. Just more of you." The other man says, holding his face in his hands to look into his eyes. Daryl tolerates it a moment before he's back to the little puppy headbutt thing. The way he hides his face in Rick's shoulder will hide the tears that sting his eyes should they actually fall. They won't. But still.

"K," he whispers. But Rick hears. And he doesn't hide his tears. Never has. Never will. Big baby.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The deed is done...well mostly. Daryl did his part.

Rick's not entirely expecting it when Daryl rolls onto his back later that night in bed, growls "get over here." His hand is wrapped tightly around his wrist, pulling him along and Rick goes easily. He only briefly has to. Wonder what's up because Daryl's fingers are in his hair, directing him toward the left side of his neck as he closes his eyes and tilts his head in the opposite direction. 

The little 'x' tattooed there marks the spot and he knows what to do, knows what to do when Daryl pushes his hand down as far as the waistband of his shorts too. He's been masturbating since he was a teenager, it's only surprising because Daryl rarely let's him do that for him. Their intimacy is usually limited to kisses, light touches, sometimes Daryl will sit in his lap and just talk to him and that does it for Rick... 

They've 'had sex', well, penetrative sex, only a handful of times. And that was mostly a while back, when Daryl didn't know how to tell him to stop and what *he* wanted or even that the way he felt wasn't weird, that it had a name. That it was normal. What he gets from anything they do in the bedroom is more cerebral than anything.

And Rick admits it took a little while to understand but he's got it down now, he's proud to say. You might think going from a married man with a pretty healthy sex drive to being with another man who had virtually no sex drive at all might be difficult but not really. Once Daryl explained - finally - Rick felt a little bad for how he'd acted earlier in their relationship but dismissed it, knowing it would actually piss Daryl off if he caught wind.

He just wanted Daryl happy and accommodated his needs any way he could. He didn't fight him when there was reciprocation unless he truly thought it came from a place of negativity but strange as most people may think, he views their sexual relationship favorably, enjoys it every bit as any other he's had. And fuck them anyway, what's wrong with them if their focus is on what he and Daryl do in their bedroom?

Suddenly, Daryl stops him, pushes him off and disappears into the bathroom. Again, he locks the door and Rick smiles, burying his face in his husband's pillow and breathing in his scent. He's cleaner nowadays, they have these walls, the comforts of the old world at their fingertips. He finally knows that - while it never bothered him either way - under the grime of the road, Daryl smells like smoke, a little like grease from working on the vehicles around the compound, and the coconut oil he uses on his bow. It's intoxicating

Luckily he finishes himself and is waiting by the the bathroom door when Daryl emerges. The other man gives him a dirty look like he wants to bitch about Rick waiting outside, 'like some kinda weirdo' like they're not married...then he spots the wet spot on the front of Rick's shorts, the way he's hold his right hand back and out of the way. He smirks but Rick is beyond looking sheepish.

He hands Rick the little plastic container, giving it a look before heading back to bed so his husband can deal with it, change, and wash his damn hands.

Rick’s back sooner than expected "That didn't take you long." He smirks but Rick ignores the intended dig/double entendre. So Daryl gets him hot without doing much of anything at all...he’s got no shame. 

 

"Just had to put it in the freezer."

 

"*Our* freezer?"

 

"Yes, Daryl, our freezer. Go to bed and try not to think about it..." Rick keeps a straight face at the horrified look on his husband’s face and leans over him to turn off the light. He gives him a kiss and cuddles up to him. Daryl doesn’t move and Rick is practically biting himself, just waiting.

“You’re not serious, right?” Daryl asks after a long moment, voice low and deadly serious.

“Of course not. I ran it over to Maite. She had to add stuff - “

“Dammit, Rick. How many people are gonna handle that shit before - “

“You don't wanna know, i’m not gonna tell ya. so is there a point to this or are we just chattin’ cause I’m tired. You’re tired and slightly traumatized,” Daryl glares. “Honey, I know you, you’re very slightly traumatized by this whole thing and I’m sorry but so grateful. you at least know this means you get whatever you want for the rest of our lives, right?”

“That’s good, cause I got a list of demands,” Daryl replies as they’re nodding off. Rick’s last thoughts are consumed with what he’s in for in the future. He doesn’t much mind, but knowing Daryl, there will be some serious consequences for the trouble. Not to mention, knowing that Beth will be carrying the baby, it’s definitely going to be blond and adorable, and break his heart on a daily basis, whether it’s a boy or a girl. 

Rick wants a boy- not for any stupid masculine reasons- just to get as close to a little Daryl as possible and give it the childhood he didn’t have. Beth told him she’d put the order in, she’ll do her best.

Alicia, always being the bearer of bad news, had laughed when she overheard. ‘Took us 3 tries- four if you count the twins separately.’ Daryl had firmly stated that this was going to be the one and only attempt. ‘We’re old, I ain’t doing it again, whatever excuse you want take your pick’. Rick can work with that.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gretchen and Beth talk about children after Beth does her part for Daryl and Rick

Gretchen listens intently to all the instructions from the doctor. She listens to Beth, lovingly (because yeah...they’re *there*), adoring that sweet bright smile, the way her happiness radiates. Her sweet voice singing Gretchen to sleep more nights than not.

She has to admit, to herself, to probably later to Troy, who has been the closest thing to a brother to her since before she lost her own (and believe it or not, a hell of a lot less crazy), that she’s terrified. 

The problem isn’t helping out the nice couple, their new friends, and a person that means the world to Beth and that she (inaccurately but in a sort of spiritual sense - I guess?) gives the credit to as ‘her first’. On that note, there’s a hell of a lot of drama surrounding the relationship Beth has with Daryl. 

There was never love, not really - just a puppy love crush and a man with more baggage than Dulles Airport - but when they thought they were the last people in the world (or close to and the last of the ones that actually mattered) the woman had let herself imagine. Daryl had just let her. And that’s the thing, that’s it between them. So that’s not what has Gretchen a little concerned.

Beth lets out a bright bubbly laugh when they finally return to their place for the evening. The procedure is done. It’s going to stick or not. Apparently they only get one shot cause Daryl...yeah. He’s a strange dude, isn’t he?

“I know what you’re thinking.” Geoff in his birdcage is gargling something that, to both of them, seems a little like the pet that wonders where you’ve been all day. The original owner was at first a little surprised that her girlfriend is ok with the strange choice of companion, but after getting to know her it makes sense.

“Oh you’re psychic now,” Gretchen winks. 

Beth laughs again. Everyone thinks of her as the little girl, the baby, and she’s certainly one of them...well, not really. Not anymore. Deceptive but certainly not any kind of innocent. Hell, she’d barely known *this* about herself but she’s totally into the relationship for the long haul. She’s grown up a little, she’s patient and kind, like her mama was, like her daddy had always imagined she’d grow to be. She was a brat before. She knows that.

“You’re terrified.” Her girlfriend nods. “It ain’t because you think I *love* him, I told you how I used to feel...it’s the baby stuff.” 

“I think we went over this.”

“Yeah, honey, and that’s fine…” If she’s not yours, you don’t understand. Every ‘honey’, every look, every laugh, it pulls you in. Little shit. Gretchen gets *that* a little bit more and more everyday the way Rick talks about Beth’s devious ways. Daryl looks fond of her, almost like another one of his kids. “I don’t want a baby of my own right now. Yeah, I always wanted a child. But there’s babies all over here…” Gretchen swallows hard. “And I can get that without doing this until you’re ready.”

“Don’t know if that’ll be *ever* baby.”

“Well, I’m *with* you. And I’m ok with that. Relationships are about compromise.” They kiss, the surrogate getting spoiled and taken care of like instructed. Truthfully, maybe its this part she’d dreamed of. She’s taken to being one of the resident nannies/school teachers and never felt the baby craving set in since back at the prison. Doesn't mean she can’t tease Gretchen a bit...“Besides...when it’s time I’ll just talk you into it.”


End file.
